I believe

I heard this song today and it's absolutely amazing. It's made me do some thinking and well it's very inspirational. You really do need to believe in yourself and make your own dreams come true. Don't anyone stop you for most of us are simply amazing, yet we don't allow ourselves to realize it. It's not successes that make us who we are rather its are hard times that allow us to prove to not only the world but ourselves how strong we really are.

I believe- Yolanda Adams

graduation and moving.. whats next

These past few weeks have been quite well different to say the least.

I graduated from high school on the 2nd and I had pretty much been out of school minus check in and stuff for two weeks. It was weird seeing all of the people that have surrounded me for the past 4 years all together knowing our lives were all about to change. All 1236 of us together laughed, cried, cheered, hugged, and were missing our cellphones ( they didn't allow us to bring them to graduation which we there at 5:30 it started at 7 and didn't end till almost 11). It was hard to watch these people who have affected my life in so many ways sit with me knowing that the journey that lies ahead in all of its excitement is going to be hard at times and during the hard times, for the first time we won't endure them together. I was hard to see my sister grace who has been and always will be my best friend cry because she finally realized that I am really leaving in 3 months to go live 7 hours away.

As if all of this isn't enough for ones emotional stability we moved into our new the very next week. Its weird as I sit in my new room which i have only been in since tuesday here writing this. I have a bigger room, although I have to share a smaller bathroom. Oh well I guess I like it is just different. I realized as I unpacked my cloths I definitely need to update my wardrobe.

By the way you never truly realize how much stuff you have until you pack it all up and then unpack it all.

I get to take my truck to college!!!

Last nite I went to Chick-fil-a, grace, my younger sister, works there, for dinner last nite with my dad. We were talking about when I leave for school and all. Move in day is the 23rd of auguest. I found that that all the girls participating in rush, and thoses who went the foundation camp move in on the 22nd second, and any other students with a vaild reason for moveing in a day early. I asked if I need to call tech to see about moving in early because grace starts school on the 24 and it would be nearly impossible for them to help me move in and make the 6 hour drive back home. He said you can move in on the 23rd becasue we are only taking one car. Then I was really confused. I asked how the car was going to get back home. Thats when he said were driving your truck up there and then grace, your mom and I will fly back home. I was really excited but I felt bad at the same time, this meant grace wouldn't have a car her senoir year of high school. Then he replied we will hopley have another car by them, if not she will get one before Christmas. Its funny how 2 weeks ago he said I wouldn't have a car, and now he has decided that I need one. I'm super excitied, I can go to the goercry store or walmart when ever I need to with out having to search for a ride, but most of all I can come home for thanksgiving with out having to fly all over. You see my dad works for southwest airlines, we get free flights but you fly space avaiable which on really busy days, such as thanksgiving weekend can be long days, sometime taking multiple fights, but then again when you fly for free you really can't complain.

Swine Flu hysteria means no school for senoirs friday

The Swine flu has taken my world by a storm. Schools are shutting down for a week or more if even one kid has a probable case. Yesterday I was watching the news and Fort worth isd shut down its whole district for seven school days because they had one confirmed case and 3 probable cases. Everyone is freaking out, UIL events are canceled for two weeks, and big events such as mayfest are canceled.

It wasn't till today that the Swine flu hysteria hit home. This morning I woke up sick, couldn't keep my breakfast down for even five minutes. I called my mom and immediately she was asking me if I had any other systems. I felt perfectly fine accept my stomach was hurting a little, and i was weak, I'm hypoglycemic, my blood sugar was low and I need to eat but couldn't, but I was fine. I didn't want to go to the Senior meeting cause I was afraid of getting sick in front of everyone and I was still quite weak, but I didn't want to risk not walking. I went and went straight to the front of this massive line of my friends, and other fellow seniors. I checked in and found out they canceled the senior six flags trip and all other Field trips through next week. They also didn't want to house 1200 kids in lower A hall, that putting about 150 kids in each room. They canceled the meeting because your more likely to catch the swine flu in crowed areas. So good news for Senior no six flags, tickets were 75 dollars and only 200 something signed up and the rest of us were expected to go to school tomorrow for 3 hours doing nothing. Now all seniors have tomorrow off. Its great but a little nerve racking, they didn't cancel prom which is next Saturday but if anyone catches the flu they will cancel it for sure.

I feeling much better I went to jamba juice and got a smoothie and that got my blood sugar up some. I kept down and ate little cracker snacks and kept down my dinner. I relieved I still kinda hungry but that's okay.

I have an eight page paper due tomorrow and I pretty much only have like a forth done. I'm a huge procrastinator but in my defence the paper is actually due Monday but I have an AP exam so I have to turn it in friday. I'm officially working on my first college term paper and I must say they suck but I need a really good grade. Next week is the last week of classes at CCCC and i must say I'm pretty excited, both of my classes don't have a comprehensive final and my last test in each class is gonna take place on the exam dates so not to much stress after I finish this paper. Crap I forgot I have an opinion thing due in psych tomorrow to. That won't take me long. I gonna be up all night but that's okay because after that I can go home and sleep because no high school classes for seniors.

Summer is almost here and I can't wait for next year. I found out because of my amazing act math score I don't have to take the placement exam and will go into calculus.. ugh but i have to have it for my major. I was semi productive and took the chem. placement exam and I placed into freshman chemistry. I was okay at chemistry but I'm glad to say I not majoring in chemistry. I graduating with 15 hours so that kinda cool I think. 3 weeks left of high school. Then no school for me because I'm exempt from all finals so no school on senior final week. Then grad practise and graduation. YAY!!! I'm ready to fly, I'm ready to move on. I even got my bedding in I order for next year. I'm so ready and then again I should be and I've prepared myself the best I possibly can.

Surprise!!

My dad found a lovely brown package on our door step. When we opened it inside was a lovely surprise. A nice sky blue Texas Tech Hoodie. Then when I saw the invoice. It was from my cousin Brittany. Its funny how something so small can make your day.

Guns Up!!

I finally got a dorm room. I'm super excited.

Today I found out the state of Texas got rid of the Texas b on time loan. Which pretty much a grant if you graduate in 4 years, if not it becomes a loan. It would have given my family over 5,000 a year and now its gone due to funding. The state of texas doesn't have a tuition assistance program for it students so now alot of us are wondering what to do.

My family only qualifies for the Stafford unsubsidized loan, and I have no college fund. I'll be the first to get a 4 year degree in my family but its sure going to be tough. I'm sure everything will work out fine, its just hard riding out the storm.

I signed up for orientation and everything. I pretty much have seniorites I'm ready to graduate. I'm ready for high school to be over. I have 4 weeks left and 5 till graduation. I have most of next week off due to state testing for everyone else.

Not to mention my two cccc classes end in 3 weeks. One paper, a test an two finals and I'm done. I got to experience a little bit of the college classroom experience this year and i've learned alot. I learned how to study, and that you must study. I will do much better next year at Tech and I didn't mess up my gpa so thats good.

Change

Change is everything I need right now. A fresh start. I'm leaving all the tears, the lies, the rumors idoits started, the heartbreak, and everything be hind. I'm moving on. This is for me and no one else.

I got rid of the old post and change the look to help myself move on.

I'm happy again. I finally made up my mind on what school I'll be attending next year. I will be going to Texas Tech University. Go raiders!!!! Guns up.

I applied for housing but there was no regular rooms left so I had to apply for a living community. I'll probably end up in the education community however I'll be a microbiology major going pre-med. The lady on the phone said other girls are in my situation and it really doesn't matter at this point. I'm sure I'll have fun where ever I will live. I'm nervous to but I guess that's a normal thing.

I've decided change is good and much need. Life is better when you enjoy it and when your happy

Finally, I'm okay!

Life has been so hectic and spiraling out of control the past year and half. I believe everything happens for a reason, however it is finding the reason that can take forever.

I've finally figured it all out. I've learned that I am a much stronger person than I give myself credit for. I lost a lot friends in the past couple of months, and to tell you the truth hear lately I've been much happier without them. The best part is that the cattiness and all the girl drama is pretty much non-existent with out them. I've also learned who my true friends are, and I'm so thankful for them.

I do almost everything on my own. I don't really rely on other people. It always nice to have someone to talk to when your upset, but it's me who ultimately figures out the solution to the problem. As my best friend Kyle said "you'll figure it out, you always do, and you always will", I've been pretty much living my life by his words. I finally see how its me, who is the strong one, and it's okay to be upset because I finally face my problems and insecurities head on.

Speaking of Kyle, I'm so proud of him. He got into Belmont, he had been waiting forever to hear back from them and he finally did. He's now undecided between TCU and Belmont so I talked to my dad and he decided to give Kyle and one of his parents to round trip buddy passes to Nashville so he can go see the school one more time, so he can make decision. My dad works for southwest, so it doesn't cost us anything but my dad rarely gives them to people, so it was a big deal.

I'm finally okay again. I can think with out crying. I'm not nearly as stressed out. And most importantly I'm generally happy again.

Value is more than just a numbet

I'm complety feed with all this talk about the value of things. Value is more than just a number and I really think people need to realize it. I may only be a high school senior but I know more about the value of the important things in life.In today’s society, Americans have become so obsessed and concerned with numbers. We attempt to put a numerical value to just about everything. In the past few weeks, I have heard a numerical value place on the following topics. How many teenagers have car accidents, many senior citizens will live past 65 years old, what did the stock market do at closing? I have come to the realization that sometimes the numerical measurement used in this manner dilutes the true meaning of many situations and topics. As Americans, we need to put more importance on the meaning of situations and topics, rather than a just a numerical value. For example, a smile, a first cry of a newborn baby and Love.
You cannot measure a smile by any numerical value. In case and point, a smile not only shows ones inner beauty and happiness, it can also bring enjoyment to others. On a depressing day, a smile from one person to another can start a chain reaction. A smile can change one person’s outlook from misfortune and dreariness to that of pleasure even if it is for only a moment. A smile can offer a glimmer of happiness, hope, gratitude, a positive thought or perhaps a much-needed moment that is tension free.
How can we even begin to measure the sound of baby’s first cry? It brings about a new life, which will one day have an impact on the world. A small person that starts out crying and one day provides a new voice to be heard. One that will add diversity, and one day contribute to the planet that we call home. A baby’s first cry brings happiness and relief to the mother who perhaps tried to conceive, taking all the precautionary measure to deliver the healthiest baby that she could have. The cry that says congratulations you have a new baby, you are finally a mother, father, grandparent aunt, uncle, brother or sister. That first cry can symbolize a miracle, hope, perseverance, and true happiness. It produces emotions that one can only happen in that moment, producing more merit than one can see from the outside. How can you a place a numerical value or a price tag, on a cry that has so much more meaning than any word or number could ever describe?
One thing that everyone holds dear is Love. Love is one of the most valued and coveted commodities in the world. It is what everyone seeks and desires in some form or fashion in one’s lifetime. For those that are lucky to have love, they cannot put a numerical value to a love that shared by two people. You cannot buy love nor can you trade it. How can you put a measurement of numerical value to Love? Love is so precious for those blessed to possess it.
The value of an item, or gesture should be more than just a mere number. It must have meaning. In my assessment, feelings are what make life worth living. Many of us try to act on the value of logic alone, however one can never fully take out his or hers own emotions. When and event happens, we think, and re-act from prior situations and experiences. Our emotions and feelings are a part of who we are. We then decide how to respond. Some try to put their emotions side, which sometimes is impossible. Our life experiences help to define who are, who we will become as well as how we handle different situations. Some realize what is best may not make them happy but even then, your emotions play a part. These emotions may be guilt, sadness, or the will to do the right thing. Our emotions are immeasurable. Therefore, when an event occurs, such as buying a new house or a child taking its first steps, our emotions are always present. Therefore, at this time I ask the question can you really value something with just a number? Our emotions that are worth more than words can express, how can we ever begin to place a value on the events and items in our lives? The importance and value of most things should come from the heart. It comes from our experiences, and our feelings.
To put a numerical value on everything is unwise. So how can we articulate the value of things and situations you ask? The answer in my opinion is that we can try to describe it to the best our ability that our words will allow. Realizing that it is not completely possible to achieve, we must try to comprehend what the true significance is and how it will play into our lives. How it changes our beliefs, how it challenges our thoughts. I have realized that the things and experiences that hold the most value are the things and experiences that transform us the most. This causes us to become an enhanced, more compassionate, understanding and productive society and individuals.

Bye, generation change

LAST DAY OF GENERATION CHANGE!!!
I'm super excited no more finial class, teaching me stuff I already know, don't spend money you don't have.

On a happier note I went and saw Stephen F. Austin yesterday and I really liked it. I'd much rather do to Texas Tech, but sfa is nice 2nd option.Things

I been pretty boring. I putting off studing for my Psych test that I have to get an "a" on. It's tomorrow morning at 8:00. Well I'm off to study, I think.

fishes

I'm in aquatic science, weird class I know. We got our fishes today for our aquarium after Shannon's and mine cccc classes. We only had about 20 minutes to be in petco and it was quite funny because we were arguing over what fish to get. In the end we got 11 and they are so cute. I'm so glad that I took this class.

Its weird how things work out; at the beginning of the year my whole schedule was out of whack and my counselor called me down and said they couldn't give me 7th or 4th off and that i had no 6th period and need to choose one.

She started running through the list of basic electives like office aid and other classes and then looked at me and said "aren't you wanting to major in biology or something".

I replied "yes, why?"

She then said well "how do you feel about taking aquatic science?"

I then said with a sigh "why not"

The class is one of the easiest classes I ever had, it looks good on a college application, and its so much fun. Not to mention I reconnected with Shannon; we were pretty good friends in 8th an 9th grade and had a class last year together but didn't hang out much. I became better friends with Austin to, hes so funny and always makes me smile.

I like my schedule this semester. My cccc (community college) classes are so much better than AP. I like the structure better, and my psychology professor is really funny, sarcastic, and nice, well most of the time. Economics well i don't really enjoy it but i understand it.

Speaking of cccc this morning I saw my best friend from middle school and high school. I haven't seen her in forever, well she came and saw me in Annie, but we haven't really hung out because she finish high school through correspondence last year and started at cccc this year. It was so funny because she looked at my tech shirt and jumped and was all like we can be roomies. She's going to tech next year for sure. I still undecided, but that's okay. She was so surprised to see me and all and asked what I was doing there. I explained the whole situation that i took to classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, and went to the high school from 11 to 3:30. Which i have to admit is amazing I love the whole set up alot.

I'm look forward for tomorrow. I get to hang out with Alex for a little bit. He sent me a text that said "Are you as excited about Friday as I am? haha". Hes so cute, and he has the hugest crush on me. Which I must say is flattering and i have a crush on him to.

Well I'm off to do my pre-cal homework that I've put off all day, or i might wake up early tomorrow morning and do it then, who knows. Talking to Alex sounds more fun.

No More Stress

Out of the blue last night this guy, Alex, messaged me saying that he missed me and wanted to talk some time. It was the cutest message, he said I cast and aoara that makes me fun to be around. I met him in Annie rehearsals and haven't seen him in about 2 weeks because Annie is over. Hes dorky but cute all at the same time. He was really nervous but eventually asked if I would hang out at the park with him on Friday.

Today I flew to Lubbock and back to visit Texas Tech. The campus is pretty and I really like the school. I've been warming up to the idea of having a class bigger than 75 people. My dad all excited about the 4 schools I've narrowed down to. On the other hand my mom yet proud of all my hard work I've done for the past 4 years, she wants me to stay close to home and wants me to go to Tarleton State or duck school as she calls it. Tarleton has a big tradition with rubber ducks and is only about 2 hours from my house and is one of the 4 schools I'm trying to decide upon.

A lot of stress was relieved to day when my dad realized that if I stay instate I will get 8,780 dollars a year, and maybe an additional 5000 a year if I get my moms company's scholarship. And If i deiced to go to Delta State (Mississippi) I will get 3,500. I'm pretty much waiting to see if I got in to the honors program and the final amount each school offers me. My dad seems to think I won't have to pay a dime unless I go to tech and even then he thinks I get enough from them to only have to pay for my meal plan at most. I've keep the cost of college in mind when applying to schools. I thought just a couple days ago that my deciding factor was the finical aid but now I'm going to really have to make a choice because there is not much difference of price if anything at all between all 4 schools after scholarships.

I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. The majority of my stress is gone after today and I can finally just focus on school and enjoying the rest of my Senior year.